Emotional Roller Coaster

The last 24 hours have been hard. We had Kendrick's (our football player who died 2 weeks ago) memorial service and let me just tell ya...it is an absolutely helpless feeling to sit and watch these big tough football players cry their eyes out remembering and missing a friend. I wanted to wrap every one of them up in a hug and not let go. It was SOOOOO hard. I am praying that they are able to focus tonight for the game as we will be honoring Kendrick at halftime and Tanner, his roommate and our back-up QB, will be wearing his jersey along with his parents being there to watch. That's lots to ask of a bunch of 18-22 year old guys. I know in my heart though, that they will play hard for Kendrick.

Tracy W. text me this morning, and Kodi's cancer is now progressive. Basically that means that it is not responding to chemo. The tumor on her spine is once again back and it continues to grow in her bones. Needless to say, I have spent lots of time on my face in prayer and tears. The fix it character in my personality wants so badly to be able to just wave my wand and this to all be over.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers." Romans 8:28-29

There is hope in this verse. Our FCA pastor who did Kendrick's service used this verse, and it is very applicable to both situations. I have to hang on to this verse and know that God is being glorified through all these circumstances even when it doesn't feel like it.

The joys of morning sickness

I must say, my morning sickness hasn't been too bad...however, mine doesn't hit me until I have been up about 4 hours or so and then it's pretty much non-stop until I go to bed. I am mostly just nauseous and then I usually have about a 20 minute period every evening where I seriously debate whether I am going to lose my dinner to not, but so far I haven't thrown up. I don't mind being nauseous as long as I don't throw up!! I am also a lot more tired this week than I have been. Not getting to sleep by like 2 1/2 hours last Friday really did me in. Thankfully I knew ahead of time I was going to be short on sleep and one of the girls at work volunteered to come in and work the 2nd half of my shift for me. Otherwise, I don't think I would have made it home Saturday morning, and there's no way I would have made it to the game on Saturday night.

We told my parents today and we mailed Billy's mom and step-dad's frame to them today. They should get it by the end of the week. We had originally said that we weren't going to tell until after we had been to the doctor, but we couldn't wait. It is killing Billy that his family doesn't know yet, because we know that his mom is going to be ecstatic!!! Hopefully she will catch on to what the pictures mean quicker than my parents did...I had to explain to my parents what the pictures meant. I made signs that said "Mimi & Papa--I can't wait to meet you in May." My dad thought it was a sign from the dogs saying they were coming to stay for awhile in May!! LOL Even after they saw the picture of the positive pregnancy test they still didn't get it. I just had to laugh. Of course they and my sister are so excited. I have to admit, it was nice to be able to sit down and talk and be excited about it with my mom. These are pictures of the signs that we made to tell our parents. I realized today that I go to the doctor 5 weeks from tomorrow, so that's really not that bad. It doesn't feel quite so far away as it did when we first found out.



Here's to another week down. Can't believe that I'll only be 7 weeks on Friday...it seems like it was such a long time ago that we found out!!

Stream of Consciousness

The title is really just to cover up the fact that I am so tired right now, I don't know if I could write an entire post that made logical sense!! :) It's been a BORING week at work this week. We only have 2 patients, and while I am thankful that no one else has children sick enough to need our services, it has been next to impossible to keep myself awake the last two nights. Last night I walked laps around the unit for 45 minutes straight trying to keep myself awake and then almost fell asleep walking!

I can't believe that it's already the weekend. I am ready for Satruday and to get to play with my new camera lense. The pictures I took at practice were pretty sweet. The guys are coming over for dinner tomorrow. Billy is a little nervous b/c he is going to have to do the dinner by himself b/c I will be at work. I don't know what he is nervous about, because I will have everything ready for them when I leave for work. It's not like he's going to have to actually cook anything!

I can't wait for my new housekeeper to start. I did the dusting and floors today, and it didn't take long at all, but I was totally bummed to think about the fact that if I still had a housekeeper, I could have let her do that and slept that extra hour! :)

I have tried to read a book the last two nights, but it just isn't happening. I am too tired to even try. We'll see if I am able to have a conversation this morning for my meeting. Totally bummed that I have a meeting and then have to come back to work tonight b/c there is definitely the potential for me to be a total zombie tonight. Thanksfully I will only be here for 1/2 a shift, so hopefully I'll miss that point of exhaustion tomorrow night.

The kids are excited that they get to come overan dplay with Rocky and Boudreaux tomorrow afternoon while I am cooking. They have been begging to take them walking all week, and the weather has just not cooperated, but no matter what they get to play with them today because I am taking them to my house to stay until Amy gets home so that I can cook and clean and continue to get stuff ready for dinner.

Well, I am falling asleep writing this, so I guess that means it is time to get up and walk some more laps.

Peace and Chicken Grease!

My Life is now complete!!!

I am now officially ready for football season to start. I got my new telephoto lens today!!! I am so excited. I can't wait to try it out this weekend when we play in Weatherford. I am debating going to practice tonight at the stadium just to see what kind of pictures I can get from my normal seat...I probably will go, just for the heck of it.

It's been a crazy week here. I left on Sunday afternoon as soon as I got up (no, I wasn't being lazy, I worked Saturday night...) and headed to Sanger to hang out with the Tutts for the weekend. It was good to see them and spend time with them. Yesterday, Tracy and Tracy ran errands and the girls and I just stayed at the house and hung out. It was nice to have just a low key day. We went to watch Maegan at soccer practice and then out to dinner, but really nothing too exciting. This morning I dropped Maegan off at school and headed home. I drove home in some CRAZY rain, but it didn't last too long which was nice. I ran by Sams and got food for our dinner for the guys on Friday and then came home, unloaded groceries and had time for a quick 20 minute nap before I went and picked J and L up from school.

I work, tomorrow, Thursday, and half of Friday and then Saturday morning I am headed to Weatherford, OK to see Amy and Ashley and the kids and hopefully watch my Buffs beat up on some Bulldogs.

Guess I should get off of here and get to cleaning my house since it looks like a tornado blew through here and we have company coming on Friday. Hope everyone has a great week and I will post pictures from the game on Sunday.

Prayers Please

Please be praying for our football team. One of our players, who was medical red shirting this year, was on his way home to Austin for Labor Day yesterday and was killed when he rolled his truck. There was also a WT soccer player with him. Please be praying for the Cutsinger family. Kendrick was loved by everyone and several of his roommates and best friends are on the team this year. Please be praying also for the soccer player. I don't know his name, but I know he is from Venezuela and he is still in critical condition in a hospital in Austin.

An answer to prayer is that Kodi got to go home this week, and our friend Cali is doing amazing! She is in rehab and improving everyday. Please continue to remember these families as well.

It has hit...

The morning sickness is in full swing around here. It's not bad, but it's definitely there. It's worse today because on top of the morning sickness, I have my normal game day nervous stomach that is of course worse b/c I am not actually at the game, but watching from the sidelines at work...hopefully! It's been crazy how weird it has felt to be pregnant so far. I know you are probably thinking...okay Jenn, you're only gonna be 5 weeks tomorrow how weird could it really be, but seriously, knowing what's going on in my body right now is just crazy to think about!! I have loved every minute of it so far, including almost puking at the gas pump the other day b/c of the smell of gas. October 20 needs to hurry up at get here fast b/c I am getting impatient. The girls whose kids I keep after school is also pregnant, but b/c of her age, she got to go to the doctor yesterday instead of having to wait. I have to admit, I was so jealous listening to her talk about her appointment today. I can't wait to hear the heart beat and see my sweet baby for the first time. I can't even imagine all the emotions that will come with that day.

It's Here!!!!

Football season is officially here. We are done with the madness of two-a-days and we officially start our season tomorrow night. The guys left this morning for Michigan. Just got a text from Billy that they had landed. I'm bummed that I am not there, but I couldn't justify taking off the whole week of work and also making this trip, plus going to Orlando in November. Too much money!! Plus, we just bought bedroom furniture this weekend, so there went a good chunk of play money for awhile. Instead I am going to head to Sanger this weekend to see Tracy and Tracy and the girls. Hopefully Kodi will get to go home today. She had a really hard time with mouth sores this round of chemo, but the docs decided not to give this particular chemo to her anymore as the side effects outweigh the benefits. Nothing else too exciting going on around here. I'm taking a break from paying bills and balancing the checkbook!! Yuck!! Two of my least favorite things to have to do ever!!

Summer is officially coming to an end around here. We are putting the top back on the Jeep...mostly b/c it rained yesterday afternoon while we were sitting in the pick-up line waiting on L, so J and I got wet. I told Billy last night that when he gets back from Michigan, the top has to go back on before he can go back to work!! Hopefully he's down with that plan b/c I am done with the wind blown look for awhile.

Well, my timer went off, so I guess that means playtime is over and back to work...I'll upload some pictures soon. I am LOVING my new camera!!